Polyamory, or "Open Sexual Relationships" What Say You and Why? Revised from Valentines Day 2011

POLYAMORY (Webster) "Open relationships" Multiple Partners...

My reasoning or choice to discuss has nothing to do with religious significance but more so human rights, insight, social, psychological reasoning and a respect of free will and choice. REALITY vs PERCEPTION.
My moon sister touched on this last year and I want to revisit as to see just what people have to say. I do not want to hear the traditional response or the most accepted logic. Please open your mind. I do not need you to agree but if your against it come with something other than personal or religious values. Is it acceptable for one sex over the other, why or why not? Questions compel self exploration and self exploration in sexuality is a pathway to identifying your true nature and desires instead of adopting your cultures. It is very important to know where your beliefs stem from and if they are even YOURS or impressions from outsiders.

Do I support it? Hmmm when my friends ask me about their personal feelings and actions and how they choose to express emotions... I often validate ALL feelings. I believe we have a right to feel anyway we wan as long it is conducive to our goals and desires in the end. One should live according to what makes one comfortable causing minimal conflict. If this is done without offense and with integrity and does not cause you any negativity then do it! I have to respect choice, call me a liberal but natural laws always have cause and effect and if the effects are desired how can I tell you how to live? 

Polyamory: the state or practice of having more than one open romantic relationship at a time. I already touched on romance which is basically a legendary or novel illusion. So polyamory would basically mean multiple sex partners in a relationship. 

Definition of RELATIONSHIP1 : the state of being related or interrelated 2 : the relation connecting or binding participants in a relationship: as a : kinship b : a specific instance or type of kinship3 a : a state of affairs existing between those having relations or dealings b : a romantic or passionate attachment.

We have already visited romance in the previous post, its imaginary.

Definition of ROMANTIC 1: consisting of or resembling a romance2: having no basis in fact : imaginary3: : impractical in conception or plan : visionary

Polyandry can also be open relationship between more than a couple, a group open relationship...

In a relationship what is most important to you, truth or rules, who chooses the boundaries society or mates? Are we getting what we want (BETTER YET NEED) in the relationship?  Are we sacrificing self to appease another? What should you be willing to negotiate, settle for or compromise to have a successful relationship without loosing yourself? Can you be yourself and experience the ONENESS a divine union is supposed to bring? Is marriage a contractual business agreement, a divine union, both and if so how does polyamory fit into that? What is your view on the practicalities of relationships as far as goals and lively hood or is it all romance or sex? Just how important is sex hehehe I've seen it ruin business relationships, investments and other well thought out plans in an impulse. Perhaps it should be considered seriously.
Time to be real and stop hiding behind the value systems our religions and society has placed on us. You have to live with your decisions and God knows your heart. Why fool yourself? 

Exerts from Psychology today article.

***"We're always looking for ways to solve or avoid problems. So it's probably inevitable that some people will come to polyamory hoping that polyamory will allow them to avoid dealing with problematic personal issues or that it will solve problems in an existing relationship, but if this works at all it's usually a temporary fix. In a few cases, however, polyamory does allow people to create healthy and functional relationships they probably could not have managed otherwise."***

So above they are saying seems polyamory can be a way to deal with or mask the anxieties of a monogamous relationship by creating boundaries and rules that are acceptable to you and your MATES. I believe in freedom and the pursuit of happiness. As long as your intent is not to misuse another, you act with honesty and integrity and without double standards I don't see why this can't logically work if everyone's EMOTIONALLY equipped to handle it. Also many people stay in a monogamous relationship in eyes view while the only monogamy is going on is with the assets.

***"Some want a stable and nurturing environment in which to raise their children. Some use polyamory to mask or excuse addictions to sex, work, or drama while others seek utopian or spiritual rewards or want to take a stand for cultural change. Others are simply doing what's fun and what comes naturally for them or are rebelling against religious prohibitions or family expectations. Some use polyamory as a weapon in a power struggle or to punish a controlling partner. Some want to keep their erotic life alive and vital while in long term committed relationships or to fulfill sexual or emotional desires they can't meet with only one person or with their existing partner. Some are trying to make up for developmental gaps or to balance unequal sex drives. Some people do not start out consciously choosing polyamory at all, but find that polyamory has chosen them."***

What about addictions and behaviors that abuse polyamory? Would this be evident in the persons behavior such as denial, lying to other partners creating the illusion of something that does not exist to control another person. I think honesty is best. These behaviors or desired practices should be addressed prior to marriage. Thats why knowledge of self is so important (aside from this issue).
Sometimes we do not realize why we have certain behaviors but being honest with your partners may open the floor to questions that allow self growth and relationship growth. Being compassionate and honest with someone (the golden rule) often opens a door for self discovery and understanding within as well as trust and communication in the relationship.

Free will is a B&%$# when you want someone all to yourself but when you truly love someone you want what is best for them. Many times we have this type of relationship anyway without knowing. When the romantic illusion is whisked away and you find you are not someones everything it can be traumatic  Why would you want such a burden anyway?  Heck I am still working on being a rock to myself and my kids and letting God be my everything.

***"Ester Perel, author of Mating in Captivity, wisely advises that "The presence of the third is a fact of life; how we deal with it is up to us. We can approach it with fear, avoidance, and moral outrage; or we can bring to it a robust curiosity and a sense of intrigue ... Acknowledging the third has to do with validating the erotic separateness of your partner. It follows that our partner's sexuality does not belong to us. It isn't just for and about us, and we should not assume that it rightfully falls within our jurisdiction. It doesn't."***

What say you?

Love Without LimitsReports from the relationship frontierby Deborah Anapol, Ph.D.http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/love-without-limits/201008/why-do-people-choose-polyamory

Rayna Howe

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